Cellar Surprise
Last Friday when I was working in the cellar I noticed a surprising thing. In a flower pot under a table against the wall, a sprout was growing! Whatever it is was sending up a tall, sturdy stalk with two furled leaves. It was pale white. Anything trying that hard to grow deserves a chance to live in the light, I thought. I brought it upstairs and made room for it on my plant bench in front of the dining room window.
I've watched it every day now, -Saturday, Sunday, Monday. It's making progress but ever so slowly. It is turning green now. Perhaps it is a tiny bit taller. The furled leaves have opened a little now. But there has not been enough progress for me to determine what the plant is.
It might help if I could remember what was growing int the flower pot last summer, but I don't know. When frost killed the non house plants, I brought the pots into the house and stored them in the cellar. Now I have this eagerly growing plant which I have not yet identified.
I'm not all that sharp at identifying growing things. The milkweed that I let grow by our driveway turned out to be a pokeweed! I like it any how and encouraged it to grow every year. I nurtured a healthy growing plant all summer once, in the curbside flower bed, and then as we went into September discovered that it was golden rod! It was healthy and beautiful and I let it bloom, but I didn't let it come up again the next year.
What am I nurturing in my flower pot? How interesting it will be to discover what it is! I enjoy a surprise like this.
Resolved
I'm beginning to think about New Year's Resolutions and plan what I'll resolve for next year. I always like this project. I usually use it as an opportunity to think of things I would like to do or accomplish in the next year. I give myself goals to aim for. I seldom do negative resolutions, --just positives that I'll try to accomplish.
I was able to do most of my resolutions for last year. I choose things I really think are worth while so it's relatively easy to do what I resolve.
Today's cartoon about Blondie and Dagwood in the Sunday funnies has Dagwood making a very long list of things he'll do to improve himself in the coming year. Then he puts each one on a slip of paper and puts it into a hat and will draw out one piece of paper and that will be his resolution for 2004. Interesting. Making New Year's Resolutions has a bad name. Most people make hard resolutions and then can't do them and give up soon after they make the resolution.
I'm considering making a resolution to reread all 35 of my Harriet Journals this coming year. I'm not sure that I'll resolve that, but it's tempting to me to do that. I should be able to see ways that I've grown and hopefully developed character. I should also see events that I could have handled better. It should be interesting.
I need several more resolutions. I'm thinking about it.
Book Notes
Book Notes from: The New Diary by Tristine Rainer
Rules to grow by:
First and foremost, Avoid feeling sorry for yourself. This manifests itself in many ways. Be on the lookout for them, for they are best controlled if recognized early. Some typical minifestations are:
- Setting yourself up to be hurt.
- Comparing yourself to others.
- Living in the beauty of the past.
- Blaming others. Very rarely does one person intentionally hurt another.
- Making others feel guilty for holding you back. It's you who holds you back.
- Not wanting to be honest for fear of hurting someone. The indirect hostilities are much more painful, and time and growth won't really nurt another.
- Thinking that growing is more painful than not growing.
People tend to record what is still unresolved and troublesome in their lives. This should be an extremely valuable tool for the writer, a necessary step toward understanding oneself and one's friends and relative. (Personal note: Although I do this and find it a valuable tool, I also record lots of interesting things I notice as well as things I'd like to be sure to remember and things I might like my family to know about me some day.)
Remember that a diary represents process, not product.
You may wish to save a few pages at the end of the diary so that you can write your observations when you reread your work. This can give you a sense of direction for the path you wish to take.
Is It Just Me?
Is it just me or do you . . . .?
- Log on to write your blog but forget what you were going to say by the time it takes to fine tune all steps it takes to get to the blank blog page?
- Find that the last Christmas cards you get, the day before Christmas, alway contain a card from at least one person whom you didn't include in sending your cards?
- Decide to do a small 5-10 minute chore and then discover that you can't find one or more of the tools to do it with?
- Get an interruption just as you're within the last several pages of a book where the suspense is of the highest level?
- Have a problem with the computer running slow when you are in a hurry. The more in a hurry I am, the slower the computer runs! Some days I can get on-line within a minute, pick my mail and get back off in short order. But when I'm in a hurry and only have 10 minutes max, that's when it takes several attempts to dial up the server, or the computer decides it needs to start over or the service is so slow that you can't get anywhere.
- Do you find that the garbage pick up goes really early on the day that you are late getting the trash out?
The Difference
Merry Christmas
I'm pondering the difference in the celebration of the birth of Christ and the Christmas holiday which we celebrate tomorrow. Years ago Pastor Joe told us that he thought that Christians should let the world have the celebration on December 25 but Christians should have a completely spiritual celebration, probably on January 6, when Orthodox Churches celebrate the day. I think that's a good idea and wonder why it hasn't caught on in Christian circles.
The difference? Tomorrow is a day characterized by externals whereas the real Christmas should be internalized. Some of the externals of our world celebration could be retained for a spiritual celebration. I know that special days were celebrated in Bible times and they involved special foods and symbols and setting aside a day or days to enjoy them. The celebration of the Year of Jubilee must have been a great time of giving of gifts and merriment.
My true Christmas would include family together time, special foods, singing of carols, candles and symbols of Christ, and worship with other Christians. But, to me, it all comes down to a quiet time of personal worship and above all, a time of Thanksgiving as I ponder the mystery of God made flesh, dwelling among us, and now living in us.
Merry Christmas!
Reasons I Like to Sing in the Cantata
Why I Sing in the Cantata
- After weeks of practice on individual songs, it all comes together on the night of the performance.
- It's good to learn the songs, which are excellent, and have them become part of me, that I can draw on them long after Christmas is over.
- It helps me focus on the real meaning of Jesus. This year the focus was Jesus Is Christmas. One song was about Jesus being the baby born in fulfillment of the prophecy. Another special song was: "Lord, I want your presence for Christmas. Of all the gifts I could receive, there's only one I really need, and that's your presence, --your presence, for Christmas."
- I love being part of the music. The music flowing all around me becomes part of me. This year we had the orchestra play with our singing and it added a new dimension to the performance.
- I like being part of the whole. I could not sing a solo but I can blend in with the other voices and be part of the team effort. I like the spirit of togetherness that we have as we do our final practice and the way we unite in prayer just before we go out to sing the performance.
- I feel that it's a gift of me to Jesus for His birthday. I really focus on Him during the practice and performance of the cantata and it does take effort and time, a gift which I give Him with love.
- Everybody does their best for the cantata. There's some funny stuff during practice but the performance is completely in earnest.
- The congregation is eager to hear the music and they receive our singing with appreciation, overlooking any imperfections. It's a night to feel love.
Retired Teacher
I am retired. I love my retirement. I keep busy but usually I'm busy doing things I love to do and for the most part I can say no to things that would make me too busy.
But this morning, I'm thinking about my days in the classroom and the good things and the difficult things that happened back then. The teachers I know today tell me classroom stories that remind me of how good it is to be retired, but I know there were really good things about my classroom days.
Christmas time could be very stressful because elementary children are excited about Christmas from Thanksgiving till the last day of school in December. You couldn't expect them to put all thoughts of Christmas out of their minds so you had to find ways to work Christmas themes into the class work in such a way that it would get their attention but not over stimulate them.
I liked teaching about Christmas customs from other countries. It's fun to think about people's traditions. It's fun to make crafts that relate to Christmas. We usually made a gift for the parents and that was fun. I liked reading stories about Christmas to the class.
One year a third grader, Andrea, a very intelligent child, got out the classroom encyclopedia and looked up Santa Claus. She was delighted to find that her suspicion was true. Santa is a myth. She started to show other kids the article and some of them were getting upset. I talked to her about keeping that information her secret and letting the parents tell the other kids when they were ready to tell them and she was fine with that. I wonder what Andrea is doing today. I hope she has a family of her own and I wonder if she taught them about the myth of Santa or if she remembers reading about him in third grade.
I had a mixed feeling about the annual Christmas program. It was fun to plan and I enjoyed practicing for it but the night of the program wasn't completely fun. There was never enough seats in the auditorium, never enough parking space for everyone. The kids who were in the program couldn't sit in the auditorium and watch the other classes perform. We had to stay in our rooms until our time to do our part in the program. There was a lot of stress to that because everyone was on edge because of some degree of "stage fright." And there was nothing to do in the classroom, except play and get rowdy. I tried to have paper things for them to do but it was hard for them to keep the noise level down because they were so excited.
I do miss some things about the teaching days, but there are a lot of compensations in being retired.
Dull
Did you ever feel dull and blah, like you never had a new thought in your head, ever? I had a wonderful thought, to put one of my pencil drawings here in this blog. But I couldn't figure out how that is done, so now I feel stymied and can't think of anything new to try or to say. I shall continue to work on this project and with some help, I hope to get a picture of my pencil drawing into this place.
Doing new things helps me to feel more energetic. I heard that when we stop learning and growing we start dying. I think it's true. I want to keep learning new things. I want to learn more computer skills.
I'll sign off now, --until tomorrow!
A Poem by A. Komorny
Plans by Annie Komorny
Today I'll dust my flute and play a wondrous tune, and far away a lark will know its meaning!
I'll sing, and listeners far and near will marvel at the sound they hear. (But first I'll finish cleaning.)
Today I'll take a piece of clay, and make a form that lives to say that beauty is unending.
I'll paint a picture that, when shown, art connoisseurs will fight to own, (when I have done the mending).
Today I'll let the tide of me swell forth the things inside of me, at least by afternoon.
I'll do the things I ache to do: I'll find the time they take to do. Well, not today, -----But soon.
This poem has influenced me to some extent. I will sing this afternoon. There is mending waiting to be done. But I've been putting off the painting. Surely before the new year I will do some painting. Surely soon!
Memory of Violets
I've been looking over my African violets in front of the dining room window. Though we are in the season when we have daylight for the least amount of time, the violets seem to do well when there's lots of snow outside the window to intensify the light a little. This may not be scientific, but it seems to me that my violets perk up when there's lots of snow.
Now I'm thinking of the wild violets that I hunted in my youth. I've always been fond of violets and I think perhaps it's because we hunted them, my brother and I, in the deep ravine beside Uncle Howard's place. Now this would contradict my theory of violets responding to the light of the bright, white snow, because it seems to me that the biggest, prettiest violets grew in the shade. But, it's possible that my memory is not correct. And it's possible that the needs of African violets, concerning light, are completely different than wild violets in spring. Their other needs are different, so possibly their light requirements are different, also.
It was neat this morning to sit here and notice the curve of the violet petals as it reached toward the light. The violet is such a delicate flower. It comes in many shades of blue, pink, purple, white, and even yellow, and each is lovely in its own way. Is it any wonder that I keep starting new plants when leaves get broken off my plants? Long live the violet, whatever shade it is!
Cellar Secrets
Cellar Secrets aren't as interesting to me as attic secrets. The attic holds high and dry secrets but the cellar holds dark, damp secrets. Maybe other people's cellars are different but cellars I have known have been uninviting. I think that's the difference between cellars and basements. A basement can be fixed up to be almost livable but a cellar is unlivable and unpleasant. So, here we go:
Cellar Secrets
- Critters! Especially spiders. But it can also be home to snakes and rodents. The biggest spiders I've ever seen were in cellars, except that I did see one enormous spider on the dock at Lake George. There were snakes in the cellar at Cobbs Corners.
- Things on the way to the trash. That's where we store the broken appliances which will never be fixed.
- Old tires
- Empty canning jars
- Pantry items: jams, jellies, soups, etc.
- Old rags
- Gardening tools - that's a good one
- Old flower pots
- Art and craft supplies - I really want to use up some of my basket making materials!
- Picnic baskets
- Various tools and wiring supplies from many years ago when they were needed
- Old never to be worn again boots
Attic Secrets
I guess I'm on a roll with lists. While I'm thinking about lists, here's another one:
Attic Secrets
- The family skeleton
- Old clothes
- Halloween costumes
- Christmas decorations
- Old pictures
- Spider webs
- Bundles of magazines
- Old dishes
- Old furniture
- Scraps of material for quilting projects
The operative word here is OLD. However, there is at least one thing that I store in the attic that isn't old and that is:
11. My winter boots in the summer
Favorite Carols
A List of My Favorite Carols
- It Came Upon A Midnight Clear - It gives the whole story, from the birth of Jesus to His everlasting kingdom.
- O Come All Ye Faithful - This was one of the carols on the records I was given for Christmas 1948. It was sung in Latin on the recording, by Bing Crosby. Almost every Christmas cantata I've sung in has this song or part of it. I was esepcially moved by the song one Christmas as I sang it in a processional in a darkened church. It was glorious
- Joy to the World - This is a hymn of praise for all the year but unfortunately is reserved for Christmas.
- All My Heart This Night Rejoices - My family sang this when we went caroling together on Christmas Eve in Lochiel, Ontario. I had to learn the song for the occasion. I have never been in a congregation which has sung this song, nor do I hear it often, but it has become one of my most favorite carols.
- The Holly Has a Berry - This is another carol which I have come to love more recently. The various colors of the holly berries mentioned in the song relate to aspects of Jesus' life and death.
- Ding Dong Merrily on High - Another carol which I've never sung in a congregation. I used to hear this song played on Morningside during the Christmas season. The voices were light, airy and very joyful.
- Silent Night - This is a simple favorite which affects me most in candlelight. Simply beautiful.
- Angels We Have Heard - I love singing the high, sustained g- l - o - r - i - a in the chorus.
- Hark the Herald Angles Sing is a pretty good one, too. I wouldn't want to leave it out.
- The Huron Carol. We sang this from the third grade music book. It shows how people see Jesus and the Christmas story in the light of their own culture. Instead of shepherds, the songs says, The wandering hunters heard the hymn, Jesus your king is born.
Christmas Traditions
Another list
Christmas traditions which I enjoy
- Reading the Christmas story
- Singing in the church Christmas cantata
- Singing Christmas carols
- Baking cookies - eating other people's special Christmas cookies
- Trimming the tree
- Seeing special lighting display around town
- Christmas cards
- The children's program at church
- Planning gifts
- Parties
- Special TV programs - There aren't a lot of these that I enjoy but I do enjoy, to name a few, Charlie Brown, A Wonderful Life, The Nutcracker.
- Poinsettias
Snow World
Snow blankets my world and changes it for a little while. Snow softens the landscape and gives a touch of beauty to the homeliest of manmade structures. When the snow is deep, it cuts me off from civilization for a while. In the thick of the storm, I am alone. I stand at the window and watch my world become white. I am living in a snow globe as the snow swirls all around me.
It's particularly intriguing to drive through snow and darkness to get home at night. Last night was such a night. Snow was flurrying down in the late hours of the day and we were alone on the road for many miles. We had to drive slowly and very carefully. Everything slowed down with the snow. At one point the slowly approaching headlights turned out to be on an Amish buggy being pulled by the family horse. I couldn't see the horse very well. I don't know if he was dancing joyfully or plodding slowly. I have noticed in daylight that the horses usually seem very joyful to be pulling the buggy. Often animals seem especially joyful to get out and run in snow. The horse may have delighted in the snow last night.
When the storm is over, kids come out to play in the snow. Then I can look out my window at the bright splash of the colors of the snow suits as the children play with their sleds on the steep bank from Pleasant Street down into the school playground. I love to see them playing there.
Snow changes my world while it's here. My world becomes a beautiful playground where the pace slows down a little and enjoyment speeds up.
Living Today
Some day I will look back at a day like today realize that it was a very happy time for me. I will be sorry when these days are gone. When the children were little, going through childhood illnesses, making many demands on my time and I was also a wife and pastor’s wife, I thought I would go crazy some days, because of all the demands on my time and being pulled in so many directions. Now when I read my journal entries and letters from the time, I fondly embrace the memories. They were good days for me, far better than I realized while I lived them.
So now I know to fondly embrace today. I’m not sure when I learned this but I know I’ve been practicing it for some years now. I have a number of sorrows and disappointments. Life often takes a different turn than what I thought it would or should. But I’ve learned, I’m still learning, to tap into the blessing of this very moment, the very essence of life itself. When I do this, I rise above the disappointments of the imperfections that seek to trouble me.
I am learning to revel in life itself and in God who gave it to me. I am so blessed! God has given me more blessings than I can catalog. Again this morning, I feel wonderful and I know that all I have is a gift from God. Thanks be to God who causes me to triumph and crown each moment.
A List
I love to make lists. Today I will list:
Things that make me feel good
- A good exercise session
- Helping someone
- Being diligent and self-controlled
- Singing!!!
- Successfully completing a task which I didn't think I would be able to do.
- Painting a picture.
- Writing.
- Making cinnamon rolls.
- Finishing the church newsletter on time.
- Getting e-mail and letters from family and friends.
Christmas Joy
This year I am noticing that many of the advertisements are using the theme of Joy for Christmas. They have been promising joy for Christmas if you buy their product, and the products they offer are not cheap. How false! Joy never comes from possessions. Never.
Joy comes from God and is a gift He gives that is far above and beyond our circumstances or our possession. I remember one morning some years ago when I was feeling really troubled and sad about something. I was walking my dogs and lifting my heart to God in prayer for my need. I was walking past the McInnes Steel plant when suddenly my attention was arrested by the sound of a bird singing in a nearby tree. As I listened to the bird song, joy filled my heart. It was an emotion related to thanksgiving to my God who has created the earth and all that's in it. God gave me joy in response to my prayer. My eyes were opened to all the beauty that God has made all around me. I couldn't have bought that joy. It was God's gift.
Owning that bird could not have brought me the joy I felt, but knowing that the bird is God's creation and He cares for it gave me joy.
It cheapens the concept of joy to suggest that joy can be purchased if you spend enough money. Being present in each moment and being aware of God's blessings brings joy.
I wish you real Christmas joy. It's priceless.
Dream World
A poem by NJK
Dream World
How delightful fine is Dreamland,
A place where I can go
When my day of toil is ended
And my pace of life is slow.
All the residue of daytime
Filters through into this land.
I meet the gnomes of night life,
And I try to understand.
They amuse and entertain me,
Or they frighten and annoy
Lurking deep within the shadows,
Peeping out with eyes so coy.
When the light of day is dawning,
All the Dream World fades away.
Memory tantalized by dimness
Turns attention now to day.
And this little poem, also about dreams while sleeping:
Elusive
It's hard to hang onto a dream.
It fades away to nothing
Like manna in the dessert
With the rising of the sun.
Dream World
A poem by NJK
Dream World
How delightful fine is Dreamland,
A place where I can go
When my day of toil is ended
And my pace of life is slow.
All the residue of daytime
Filters through into this land.
I meet the gnomes of night life,
And I try to understand.
They amuse and entertain me,
Or they frighten and annoy
Lurking deep within the shadows,
Peeping out with eyes so coy.
When the light of day is dawning,
All the Dream World fades away.
Memory tantalized by dimness
Turns attention now to day.
And this little poem, also about dreams while sleeping:
Elusive
It's hard to hang onto a dream.
It fades away to nothing
Like manna in the dessert
With the rising of the sun.
Superiority
There must be a fine line between doing the best you can and feeling superior. When a person does a good job, it's a big temptation to start thinking, "I did that better than . . ." and fill in the name of specific people in one's life. My Bible reading in October kept reminding me over and over that this is not a good thing. Being reminded of this as I read Paul's letters keeps me focused on what is going on inside my mind.
I know that I'm supposed to focus on doing my best and if I use that sentence at all it should be completed this way: "I did that better than I did it the last time." I should only compare my work with my work and that would keep me from getting sloppy or lazy about it.
How self wants to hear that what I did is better than what another person has done. And that's where the fine line is drawn. There are times when it's true, but if I dwell on that thought, it encourages a sense of superiority within me and that is really not a good thing. God stresses to us that none of us has any right to feel superior to others. My ability to do better work than some does not make me a better person than they. It just means I have more ability in certain areas. Everyone is better at something than I am and can teach me much about that thing in which they excel.
At Aquarobics, a newcomer was stressing her dieting and how she won't allow herself to eat lunch with others because she must lose weight. Ironically, she was not desperately in need of weight loss. I wondered what internal pressure pushes her to play the weight loss game when she doesn't need it. This gave rise to the thoughts of the feeling of superiority. This may not be true of her but it did raise the question in my mind and recalled to me my October lessons in devotions, that I should compare my progress of today with what I have done and to always do my best because I'm doing it for my King.
True humility is not superior, nor inferior, but accepts the truth about one's self without making a big deal about it. Today I am happy to be me. My skin fits me. My feet reach the ground, though I don't stand very tall. I love and I am loved. I serve my King with who I am and work to hear his, "Well done."
This, to me, is something like the work of the Sword of Shanara, which is to make one see truth about one's self. I've been thinking about this a lot in the last 24 hours.
Forgetting
I have forgotten many things. I suppose a person really has to forget in order to stay sane. How could we possibly keep the memories of our whole life in our heads, carrying them around with us everywhere. But there are things I want to remember which I've forgotten. There are things I want to find, but I've forgotten where I put them. There are things I meant to do, but I've forgotten that I said I'd do them. These are not good forgettings.
Here's a short list of good forgettings:
1. The embarrassing things that I've done. Mistakes I've made, such as giving the wrong person condolences on the death of her sister. What a startled look she had! She wasn't who I thought she was and her sister didn't die. Whew! I'd be glad to forget that, but I want to remember to make sure I REALLY know who it is that I'm talking to before I say anything like that again.
2. Insults and hurts
3. Nice things that I've done for others. Drop the need to be thanked for everything. Do it as a blessing, then let it go and don't keep remembering how "good" I am.
4. The faults of the people around me.
5. The disappointments which I can do nothing about.
Probably the Apostle Paul said it best, "Forgetting those things which are past, I press on!" Of course, he didn't end his statement there, but it does sum up the best forgetting and the real intent of forgetting. "Press on!" Aim higher, do better things, embrace today! Don't let the past hold me back.
I plan to press on but first I plan to find my list of books I've read this year. I have forgotten where I put it last. I have four more to add!
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