Stage Fright
For all of my growing up years and even as recently as seven to ten years ago, I would get very nervous about playing the piano for special music, like accompanying the choir for a more difficult song. I am so grateful that I finally learned how to pray about the matter and give it to God and accept a great measure of deliverance from that burden. I've been playing with enjoyment for several years now, probably more.
Today I played for the congregational singing in the sunrise service and I enjoyed it completely. Of course, playing for the congregation has not been a big problem for me as far as nerves goes, but what happened after the service is what makes me chide myself about letting nerves ever have an influence on me. (As if I could just ignore them!) Before the breakfast following the service, I had gone out to the car to get another armload of things I'm giving to others, so I looked like I was coming into the church for the first time. Someone said to me, "Were you here for the service? I didn't see you." That's a big teehee because there I was up front at the piano. How nice to know that I wasn't calling attention to myself unduly. And what an inspiration for future piano occasions. People aren't paying that close attention to the music, most of them, and they don't even know it's me or whether I'm doing well or poorly, so, down with nerves! For the record, I played well today, (she said modestly). True modesty admits a job well done if it was so, and admits mistakes if that's what happens. True modesty doesn't pretend to be something it's not. Now, I haven't achieved the level of humility which I'd like to reach, but I can admit that I played well. The special choir song in the 11 o'clock service went really well, too. I am sorry to put it away now that we've sung it for this season. I really enjoyed playing it.
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