The Hardest Thing
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, I keep telling myself. And it's been very hard, no doubt about it. Late this afternoon I started to think of some other very hard places that I've gone through. And then I realized that the reason that this is the hardest is because Marlin isn't going through it with me. He was often a source of strength to me. He supported me when I was needy. Sometimes he encouraged me to grow stronger, but often he let me lean on his strength. So now, of course this is the hardest thing.
I'm singing tonight, and sometimes wiping away tears. My voice breaks with the emotion, but I'm singing and drawing comfort from the songs.
"Trust in the Lord with all thy heart,
Rest in the arms of His care.
Whatever the lot, it mattereth not,
For nothing can trouble thee there.
Trust in the Lord, O troubled soul.
Nothing can trouble thee there."
I don't know the author of that song. I've sung it for many years. Tonight it comforts me in a way that I didn't experience before.
To quote another good old hymn, "There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God." God is with me. My husband is with God.
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I imagine that all the years of strength Marlin gave you have culminated in a powerful store which you can draw upon now. Even after he's gone, he's still giving.
This was a beautiful entry.